Seeking My Best Self

trying to make sense of my life – and lose some weight

Truth or Vegan

veganClients came in a couple of weeks ago. They are about ten years older than me. They are lean, fit, healthy. They espoused the joys of vegan eating. “We started a few months ago. We lost weight hand over fist,” they reported.

That caught my attention. Even though I know vegan eating doesn’t make me feel as healthy as a diet that includes small amounts of lean meat and dairy¬†(I’ve tried it before)…well, losing weight, right?

So I researched (like I do) and got a bevy of delicious recipes. Spent four hours cooking, so I’d have a refrigerator full of wonderful options.

And I gained two pounds in the first week.

Because my issue isn’t about what I eat. The issue is my basic relationship with food. It’s my solace, my lolo-blankey. It’s my lover, my friend. It doesn’t matter WHAT I eat. As long as food is substituting for something else (everything else?) I’m not going to be healthy on the inside. No matter what happens on the outside.

Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. I hate painful truths.

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