Seeking My Best Self

trying to make sense of my life – and lose some weight

An Inverted Turtle

situ and kidsI’ve loved my sojourn in Gettysburg and Madison. Caring for my bright, determined grandchildren. Discussing theology, listening and being with my daughter as she walks the path of the pastor-to-be. Basking in the energy and enthusiasm of my son-in-law. Immersing myself in passionate intellectual converation with my son and his friends. Learning new ways of being church in the twenty-first century. Ballgames! And so much more.

After three weeks, it’s time to return home. Or perhaps I should say it’s time return to another home, because a piece of my home is wherever my children and grandchildren live. Truth is, I’ve realized that home isn’t a place external. I am an inverted turtle, carrying my home not on my back but in my heart. Home is with all I love, including me.

That means the more of the world I can embrace, the larger my home becomes. Without monetary exchange or land title. Could that be the key to solving the world’s strife? If we take more time to love, we’ll feel less need to possess, because we’ll already be home.

“You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I hope some day you’ll join me, and the world will be as one….”   –  John Lennon.

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The Need to Nurture

_DSC3269Does a woman ever get over the need to nurture?

I got lonely when Bryan was gone last month. I found myself perusing humane society pages, wondering if perhaps a doggy could provide the solace I sought. I whined about it a little to my friends, emailing them pics of adorable canine faces.

Then Bryan got home, Nicholas and Hanna returned, Gabriel flew in for a visit. Loneliness problem solved!

But apparently I’d planted a seed in the universe. Two days ago, a young woman poured out her plight to me in a phone call. On impulse, she’d obtained an eight-week-old poodle mix from a rescue shelter. She bought it a kennel. Food. Wipes. Toys. Took it home along with the good news that she’d been accepted to college and was starting in a few weeks.

She didn’t detail the conversation, but I imagine the response was something like this:

Mama: “Oh, honey, we’re so proud of you! Well done. Now rehome that puppy immediately. If not sooner.”

So Taliesin (Tahl-ee-EH-sin), Tali for short, came to live with us. Look at that face. How could I resist? He’s bright, mellow, and appropriately playful. Tiny. He’ll weigh only 8 – 12 lbs. full grown. Did I mention, smart? He already understands that going outside means its time to go potty. And then run around like a madman. 🙂

Oh, and he sleeps through the night in a crate beside our bed. He loves his crate. He’s relaxing in it now (at my elbow) because I can’t watch him and type at the same time. Potty training requires CONSTANT VIGILANCE. Or crating when I’m busy. As long as he’s close, he’s a happy guy!

He’s good for my mental health. He completes the life we’ve started here in Portland. NOW it feels like home. I’m praying the landlords understand. I let them know immediately, and I await their verdict. I think it will be positive. They allowed the upstairs neighbors to keep two kitties a few months ago, and we’ve wordlessly put up with the cats jumping and playing and cat box pawing above our heads every night. Good karma has to count for something, right?

If not, well, there are always other homes. But a puppy like Tali doesn’t come around very often.


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